*SIGH** ** **

So I am in complete awe. I have new life inside of me. This baby has already stolen all our hearts, and I seriously CANNOT WAIT to meet him/her. Already like their sibling, they posed for the camera last week and gave us many beautiful shots. ENJOY!

Christmas is Here Again!

I love love love Christmas! It really is the most wonderful time of the year. These are our 3 Christmas card choices - you should be receiving one in the mail soon!
Blessings
The Clark Family

Sweet Sweet Boys

Kai striking a pose after a haircut.

Luca pretending to be a baby

Sweet Luca in the bath.

Enjoying the church Christmas program!

Kai at his first every school Christmas program pulling out the moves!

So I have officially lost the blogging mom challenge. Life is chaos (as is most peoples lives) I finished up a 6 week whirlwind renovation project for my mom - contracting these things out and all the design work is insane. (I will post pictures soon of the finished project) But, just these last few days have had time to sigh *sigh* (feels sooo good) and take some photos and enjoy my growing babes. It scares me to think that in a few short months what our family looks like will change, and the dynamics will never be the same! It will be good, I know that, but different and so I have to cherish these last moments for what they are. My tummy continues to grow and all appears well with babe. Very soon we'll know what the gender is, and we can start dreaming of names and pink or blue blankets. (You will all have to wait until May to find out though!)

Naming the Baby...

"Hey Luca - is there a girl baby or a boy baby in my tummy?"
"A guwl baby."
"And what she we name the girl baby?"
"Carwash."

uhhhh yah, about that.....

Sorry

So I know my blogging has been pathetic, but my life has been CHAOS. It's hard to get good pictures of your kids when you're on bedrest due to blood clots, and have a terrible sinus cold followed by a stomach flue ravaging the household! Yup, it's been that great! I will try to muster up the desire to get back in the game. And for those curious - the daily needles have become a daily annoyance, but not much more than that, and so I am thankful. Baby continues to thrive and has a steady little heartbeat of 160 bpm and that is also a blessing. Thanks all for the prayers!

Owwww!

So this is not one of those fun posts with pictures of my boys. Its a health update and a call to pray!

Sunday night I tripped and fell at my sister's place in Carman. They have this great new hottub with these LED lights, but outside the tub is the 'black abyss'. I was bringing Luca to Tony in the hottub, and fell into a 1 foot gap. At that time I focused my attention on what I believed to be a broken toe. My foot immediately was swollen and bruised. The next day the pain was quite bad, and a trip to the ER confirmed a break clean through. I had started to notice increasing pain in my calf at this point, but thought it was just a light sprain from falling. I also had some cuts on the knee.

By Wednesday I realized that my toe was much better, but my calf was so bad I could hardly walk. I got in with my GP and he immediately ordered an ultrasound (as a precaution, so he said)

The next day at the ultrasound, the tech wouldn't even let me leave the hospital until he had paged my doctor. My ultrasound showed I had a blood clot! I thought obese people and very old people had blood clots. Turns out a severe trauma to the leg can result in a blood clot.

Right now the pain is the worst in the morning. I woke up and cried last night, because I got up to go to the bathroom and my leg cramped so badly. My mid day I can limp around, but I am in constant pain. I can compare it to those cramps you get in your calf in the middle of the night that just won't let go and leave your adrenaline pumping!

I am supposed to keep my leg up above my head for 20 hours per day and will be monitored by ultrasound. Should this clot not resolve within a week, I will have to receive blood thinners in hospital.

Please pray for my quick recovery. I am getting depressed sitting all day. My boys are fighting non-stop because they know I can't intervene. It's a zoo and I feel bad for lying in bed and screaming at them to stop!! ahhh!....

Boys Will Be Boys

What is it about boys and things that are motorized? I was at S.A.R here in town to have our vehicle looked at, and it was a virtual boy paradise! I'm talking Harley's, Quads, Skidoos, and even mini four wheelers. Without any prompting from their mommy, these are the faces I saw... amazing!

Quad Gang...

Gotta love that Harley face...

Luca looks like he's giving some the ol' stink eye here....

Fall Family Time

Ahhh, so typical Kai.

Coca my charmer pulls out the dimples.

Daddy and Malachi all scrubbed in and ready for the big game of 'Operation' Very serious business you see.

We hadn't heard a thing from Luca in a long time, and found him in his little 'gitchies' on my desk colouring. He was extremely focused - it was quite amazing!

Luca at Lilac Campground quite pumped about the pretzel snack.

Malachi rockin' his aviator shades.

So summer was once again too short. Tony went back to work, and left me alone with the boys. We did manage a few more days out end of August, and so here are some of those photos.

Kai in Kindergarten

And so it is with all parents, I sent my first child into the world with mixed emotions. Excitement at all he is going to learn, all the people he'll meet, and all the fun he will have... BUT, on the other hand, he'll learn things I don't want him to know, he'll meet people who will hurt him, and some fun is just down right dangerous. How do you release this little tiny, impressionistic person who is been solely in your care into a big classroom, into a big school, and out into a big world?? I feel like my heart marched out the house today and entered kindergarten - it has indeed been a big day.

Kai's Baby Talk with Gramma

On a sleepover date with Gramma -

Gramma - "Baby Evan is coming over!"
Kai - "Oh yay, he is just sooo cute!!"
Gramma - "Yes, he is"
Kai - "You know who else has a cute baby? Do you know Aunite Brenda that lives over there? She has a VERY cute baby."
Gramma - "Yes, she is cute too. Maybe one day you guys will have another really cute baby."
Kai - "Well not as cute"
Gramma - "Sure you will"
Kai - "Well....just look at Luca...."

Apparently Kai is none to impressed with what God gave us the second time...

My Kai Turns Five!

I cannot believe that my wee baby has grown to a BIG boy. He is starting kindgergarten in just 2 short weeks. I drove by the school before school was out, and seeing the kids out on the play ground made me weepy - I anticipate I'll be a slobbering, blithering mess the day Kai steps out the door. Anyway, off track. I wanted to be intentional about sitting down and thinking about the things I love most about my Kai. I wanted to write them down and be able to think about them, remember them and appreciate and value each moment that he is 5.

1. I love the way he looks up past his glasses.

2. I love the way he poses for every picture (one arm crossed over the other and 'the look' - see #1)

3. I love when he tries to explain something to me - the inability to communicate fast enough what his little brain is thinking.

4. I love when he tells me how much he loves Luca, and that he is the cutest brother in the whole wide world.

5. I love his various expressions ie: "Mommy, I love you more than pigs and trees"

6. I love that he is so pumped about his Webkinz dolls and going online and saving up for a bathtub so he can give them a proper bath.

7. I love that he has so many new little friends. (Other than the ones we supplied FOR him through our own friends)

8. I love that he hears adult expressions and uses them in his day to day interactions. (I gotta watch every little thing I say)

9. I love to watch him sleep - those irresistable long dark lashes on his brown skin, and his pouty lips.

10. I love watching him talk - never has a kid had so much expression!

11. The dance moves. 'Nuff said.

Malachi - I am so so so so proud of you. I'm proud that you are learning to speak with kindness, control your temper, watch your manners, read books and the answer is YES (for all those times you double check with me that I still love you when you do bad things.) It still is a silly question, but today I affirm my answer - YES A HUNDRED TIMES OVER!!

Love Mommy

First Family Holiday

Kai just after his first ever amusement park ride. Not quite sure why this pose, but he was right impressed with the whole event

Luca in his glory on the 'horsie' ride!!

Malachi in command of his first ever motorized vehicle. A good day for him all in all.

The family on top of Sulphur Mountain. The whole way up Luca kept yelling: "Up a Mountain, Up a Mountain!!"

The unbelievable view from the top!!

This is where Luca decided it was 'bight' and that he just HAD to wear my shades.

Malachi was none to impressed with the loud singing going on at this fabulous authentic Mexican Restaurant in downtown Calgary.

We had just eaten lunch beside some big, ugly, stinky camels.

We were exceptionally blessed when my parents, knowing the stress we had faced after losing the baby, offered to pay all the gas to join them on a holiday to Alberta. We did all the typical sight seeing things, and Malachi, with his larger than life personality, loved every minute of it. He declared that he wanted to be on holidays forever. My little Luca near broke my heart when after three days he begged on and off to 'go home, i go home. mommy home' This was usually when he was at the point of exhaustion. The other moments he was quite happy because he had his Papa. He has this strange obsession with an older mustached man, but the majority of his obsession is fixated on his papa. First thing his little eyes would snap open he would be asking for papa. I felt bad for my dad, who had Luca permanently attached to him at all times. He couldn't eat a meal, or visit the washroom without Luca in tow. (I know he secretly does enjoy the love and adoration of our wee 2 year old!) We were able to see my brother John's apartment for this first time, of which he is exceptionally proud. All in all, we returned home beyond exhausted but with a head and heart full of new memories. I will share just a few small snapshots of our time away.

Off for a Weekend Away

We were gone last weekend for a 24 hr. prayer and planning retreat for the youth ministry at our church. We had a great time receiving words from the Lord and hearing what his heart was for the young people. We also had a great time laughing. That's priceless.

Never a Good Shot

So I had it in my mind to start taking more pictures of my kids. I used my PC Points to buy a cool new camera, but STILL no good shots. What is going on? I have photographed a number of weddings, taken great pics of the boys a few years ago, and have done many a family photo for other people. But when it comes to my own kids, it's a no go. After deep contemplation, I realize what is going on. The only shots that are successful are those from far away, this is because:

1. Malachi has officially balked at the idea of smiling for the camera. He will have none of it. Just an idea a 4 yr. old got in his head, and is not willing to budge. The only solution is an ambush.

2. Luca simply never stops moving. He moves constantly and will not pose, and even if he does, it's for .3 seconds.

So... the pictures you see are the best I can get where there isn't a blur of movement.

After my final ultrasound in Wpg. yesterday (all is clear) we took the boys to St.Vital Park. We fed the ducks which was a huge highlight for the boys. I was a bit anxious about all the poop on the walkways, rocks and grass. (As pictured) We met our friends Cliff, Krista and little Luis for a picnic, and then headed off to the BDI for ice-cream. A nice old fashioned family day.

And Life Goes On...

So we are back in the swing of things. Trying to squeeze out some fun for the boys during a dark time. The sun really is shining most days again, and the peace that passes all understanding permeates my heart. I cry a little each day for our baby, but each day the tears are a wee bit smaller, the sobs a bit shorter, and my dry eyes are back a bit quicker. And so it is well with my soul.

Malachi was such a trooper. He was a little man of big faith - he would lay hands on me daily and pray that the baby would come back to life. On that note - he also told my Mom that she was getting old, and soon she would die, but that was okay, because he would just lay hands on her and raise her from the dead too. That's what God wants grownups to say.

Luca being only two, would put his chubbly little hands in the air and say.. "baby gone? Mommy baby gone?"

Tony stepped right up to bat in the last few weeks and let me rest. He played with the boys day in and day out. Rugby, basketball, bike trailer rides and warm water in our upgraded pool. (We went from a tupperware size to a 6 foot long one that even grownups can lounge in for some respite.)

All in all we are thankful. God his cemented some new truths about Himself in our hearts. He has reminded me again and again of the miracle that is Malachi and Luca. That as they were formed within me, their little hearts kept beating, and their little fingers kept forming, and they were perfect, and if that isn't a miracle, I don't know what is.